This is a reply to a comment I posted on Youtube that took on a path I honestly did not forsee. I wrote a comment on how I identify with the Smiths and how they are raising Willow and Jaden.  I also said that I would have like to say it was racist but I couldn't being that most of the negative comments were from people of color.  I got backlash saying that I made this about color.  Let's talk about that. This is not the direction that I intended and the people that are taking this stance, are not my audience, but they want to discuss.  OK....The most glaring example, if I wanted to make this about race, is the Kardashians vs the Smiths.  The Kardashians have made a living out of being out of the norm.  They have been taught how to get ahead with little or no talent.  They have raped cultures to establish their position in entertainment, and without a doubt they are entertaining.  The question I propose is, can they be taken seriously.  They have used sex and scandal to continue being in the forefront of the entertainment industry, they are artificially pretty and marry well.  But when Amandla spoke out about another teenager's appropriation of her culture, she was attacked and victimized on several sites.  She was seen as an adult,  not  as one child reprimanding another child.  Willow filmed laying on a bed, fully cloth, with a friend who is also in the same band as her brother, doing nothing and they question rather they are dating.  Jaden is a feminist and they question his sexuality and sanity.  STOP.  These are major media outlets doing this.  I guarantee they are not headed by African Americans.  These children express themselves clearly and with emotion, but people want to shut them down.  Shut down the the seventeen year old, dating the twenty-five year old ex-drug dealer. So is this a racist rant, no.  This is observation through the eyes of an Black American.  Racism, especially systematic racism, is built on power, which clearly based on the state America is in now, I do not have. Stop trying to be the victim, it no longer works on me.  I woke up in my youth, and I have raised mine with their eyes wide open.  This does not make us racist, but informed and unable to be blinded by carefully, and systematically planned propaganda.  At this point, those who are not woke either do not want to be, or they are not even aware that they are sleep.  So for those who find my blog, or brave enough to come to where I have directed you, please come girded with facts, as well as your victims emotions. I will not entertain hate for the sake of hate.

Understanding what makes you beautiful

How is everyone on this COLD Saturday evening.  On my "do nothing day" I came across this YouTube account that made me smile.  I am really big on self realization, and one of the touchiest subjects to speak with oneself about is beauty.  While going through my YouTube account I came across this gem.  The youtuber's name is oonshuan.  https://www.youtube.com/user/oonshuan, She is soft-spoken and non-judgemental and she speaks to me on a sister level.  Beauty is not a set of instructions to follow.  You make it up as you go along.  I have 3 very different looking daughters, yet when I look at them, I find them more beautiful every second, but this my opinion, they have to form their own opinions of beauty, I am only here to give them the building blocks. Growing up, I never thought I was attractive.  I had most of the physical attributes needed to be an attractive black woman, light hair, light skin, light eyes and proper speech, but I was made to feel this a burden.  Parents talked about me, so of course their children did.  No one could categorize the pretty tomboy who spoke like a white girl.  I can say pretty now, because I was, I just didn't know it then.   I overheard someone say one time, she think she's pretty, and I wondered why that was a bad thing, but once you hear ALL the time, it starts to take it's toll.  I was in my late twenties, overweight, newly divorce with two kids before I could say FUCK'em and admit that I was pretty.  My girls drove me to realization that I would have to change the way I thought of my beauty, in order for them to never be hampered by theirs.  My daughter's are very different looking.  Here they are:

zoe, dj, jazzy, me

There is no step-by-step guide to beauty. If you compliment my girls, they will say thank you, but it won't be an over the top thank.  None of the feel of "Oh thank your for validating my beauty", they already know that they are beautiful, so don't be offended by that.  They know they are beautiful, smart and strong.  It is always gratifying was someone outside of yourself tells you, but validation is not needed.  So what is beauty, whatever makes you feel beautiful, I don't care it is a weave or natural hair, completely made-up or bare-faced, super-skinny or pleasing plump, the truth is beauty has to start internally, confidence is extremely attractive. Get rid of those people in your life that don't see the beautiful you.  You can only ignore so much negative space before it takes over.  So do what you need to feel beautiful, inside and out.  No one but God can judge, and my God doesn't.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzJGM1tO3dY

Check her out.

trying a new app

Before

After

Hmmm.😐

Happy Black History Month 😡 wtf

They give us a WHOLE MONTH to correct the shit that has been  shoveled down our throats our whole lifetime.  The lies that they still teach to this day.  John Smith was a pedophile. Thomas Jefferson was a slavemaster. Benjamin Franklin was a freak.  And Thomas Edison couldn't invent his way out of a paper bag without help.  Christopher Columbus a murderer.  Please feel free to add your own.  

words of wisdom from Laurie Ferrer

There are too many free photo shop app out there.  There is no reason for ugly selfies.

my best friend's words of wisdom. 

The Perfect Victim

Hello,

I was talking to the other part of the duo that know me better than my mother about a situation at work.  I female at my job tried to bring me up on charges of harassment, even throwing one of the two people who will even talk to her under the bus to prove her point.  But I was taught by the best, and I am still learning new things daily on how to navigate corporate life, so I was well covered. The documentation on her was overwhelming, but here is the problem, I have NOT and NEVER will be your beat around the bush female.  If I have something to say, I SAY it, and I won't apologize for saying it.  IT IS A JOB WITH CLEARLY DEFINED PERIMETERS.  So why is that in capital letters, because this is one of two jobs that I have ever had where what is expected is spelled out and explained clearly.  There is not one set of rules for one, and another set for two.  EVERYONE adheres to the same rules.  PERIOD.   But I am abrupt, I admit that.  I am straight to the point because I do not want you to put your interpretation on what I am requesting.  I need things to be very clear.  What does that have to do with being the perfect victim, its because I can't be victimized.  Basically, even against the strongest attack, I still seem stronger than the attacker, so there must be some validity to the attack, right?  Victim blaming, subtlety.  It's not that I am the first one she has tried this on, I am just the one that didn't give in.  The truth of the matter is my ego won't allow it.  You push me, I push back.  I have ALWAYS been the one that will walk away from a fight first, but if you block my path, I take you out, period.  It am slow to anger, I forgive easily, until I can't anymore.  And I don't go after you, I dismiss you. Once it's done, it's done.  But this little quirk in my personality give others the illusion that I can't be a victim, not true.  I just refused to be victimize.  That pathetic whoa is me, passive aggressive persona doesn't fit me well.  It's uncomfortable skin for me.  But, unfortunately women, especially women of color, are taught to get your way you must play the victim.  How many of you have not used this tactic to get what you want? If you say, not me, you're lying.  We all have.  I just chose not to, a long time ago.  This means that I have had to prepare myself for the backlash that being assertive, black and female would bring me.  This does not mean I am hard and relentless, my soul would not allow that.  I am a freakin' bleeding heart most of the time.  My children complain that I have a habit of collecting strays, kids, animals, etc.  I have been there, where the only thing holding me together are my children and God.  No one deserves to homeless, jobless, or ignored, but that doesn't make me a pushover.  If I reach out my hand to help you, take it, I got you.  But, understand if you bite that hand, you have lost my trust.  Once trust is loss, I will never do anything intentional, but I might just sit back and watch it happen, like a good victim.

listening to:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt3D4H93hNs

G Soul.  I really like his voice.  Look him up, he sings in English, also.

not my gif, all props to who made, I am truly not that skilled.

2 of the reasons I stay grounded and relatively sane.